At least I thought it was funny.
This is taken from a wonderful little book entitled How to Tell the Birds from the Flowers: A Manual of Flornithology for Beginners, by Robert Williams Wood. I’d urge everyone to get a copy, but it was originally published in 1907, and has long been out of print.
Happily, Google has digitized the entire book, so you can read it online. I hope everyone will take the time to do this!
I loved this poem, and I hope you do too. In fact, I’d recommend you read the entire book, but it appears to be out of print. However, there are collection of Nash’s poetry available, so I’ll recommend you read those instead.
by Ogden Nash
Bird watchers top my honors list.
I aimed to be one, but I missed.
Since I’m both myopic and astigmatic,
My aim turned out to be erratic,
And I, bespectacled and binocular,
Exposed myself to comment jocular.
We don’t need too much birdlore, do we,
To tell a flamingo from a towhee;
Yet I cannot, and never will,
Unless the silly birds stand still.
And there’s no enlightenment in a tour
Of ornithological literature.
Is yon strange creature a common chickadee,
Or a migrant alouette from Picardy?
Lately, my husband has taken to calling me a “Beak Geek.” I’m not sure whether or not to be insulted at this or take it as a compliment. I thought I’d ask a few other friends if the label fits. They hedged a lot. Hmmm. So I did an internet search and found the following:
… There is a strange, but distinct correlation between the last time your house was thoroughly cleaned and the development of your birding interest.
… you’re hopeless at remembering people’s names, yet you know the scientific names of all birds ever seen in North America.
… someone is trying to sell you some swamp land in a 3rd world country and you actually are interested! —Bill Kossack
… you have a trip list from your honeymoon.
… for your wedding anniversary he takes you to the Brownsville City Dump to see the Mexican crow! —Keri Dawkins
[At this point I’d like to point out that, while I’ve never been to the Brownsville City Dump (because we’d heard that the Mexican crows aren’t there any more), my loving sweetie did take me to the Ft. Lauderdale dump to look for birds. In addition, we spent our 25th wedding anniversary at a dumpy motel near Alamosa because it was near two wildlife refuges… and he’s not even a birder!]
Mountain Plover 