A Cure for Garden Pests

flamingo-eaters-1Has your garden been assaulted by a plague of pink flamingos? Are your furrows full of gnomes? Maybe your problem is something as simple as a dreary winter landscape. Don’t despair, help is on the way. Even though traditional remedies may fail, extensive research has revealed a guaranteed solution to all of these garden woes.

flamingo-eaters-2-1Pink Plastic Flamingos
These flamingo-eaters will consume at least one large bird per hour, quickly ridding your garden of these plastic pests. When they finish the flamingos, they’ll turn their attention to their closely-related cousins, plastic Canada Geese.

gnome-be-gone-1Garden Gnomes
If gnomes are a gnuisance (perhaps sneaking in at gnight from a gneighbor’s yard), try these gnome-be-gone experts. Your yard will be gnome-free in a single evening. You can take our word for it!

Artist Fred Conlon has created these sculptures, as well as many more whimsical pieces. Every one is perfect for gardeners with a sense of humor—or for those of us with major infestations of flamingos, fake geese, and garden gnomes.

If you have a gardener on your list, I have just saved you hours of hassle, trying to find that perfect gift. And if not, it’s worth a moment just to see the garden art that his fertile imagine has produced.

You can see (and buy) it all at  Uncommon Goods.

And no, they didn’t pay me anything to say this.

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